super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
