8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
