Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
