I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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