Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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