I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
