She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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