the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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