dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
