I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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