Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
