Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
