i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
