Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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