The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
