so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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