I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
