Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
