I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
