But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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