I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
