I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
