yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
