There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
