Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
