My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
should my penis look like a turkey
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
