I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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