I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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