we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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