38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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