The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
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