She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
