I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
