4 words: hood of his car
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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