Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
