U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
