HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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