were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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