I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
