You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
