apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
