I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
