Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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