Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
