Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
