Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You need a sexual gate keeper
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
