Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
