im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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