ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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