She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
