I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
