there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
