we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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