Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
