its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
