the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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