after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
