of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
