I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
where does the pee come out of this thing
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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