1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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