I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
