i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
